I Will Never Forget: A Daughter's Story of Her Mother's Arduous and Humorous Journey Through Dementia by Elaine Pereira

Author:Elaine Pereira [Pereira, Elaine]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781475906929
Publisher: iUniverse
Published: 2016-11-08T06:00:00+00:00

Mid 1990s

Jerry’s adult life took a different direction from mine. Jerry went to Caltech and met Wendie. They were married in 1973 in California and eventually moved to New Jersey, where they rebuilt the Money Pit house. We visited them in mid-August 1977, the summer I was pregnant with the girls. I vividly remember Jerry standing in line for hours to get tickets to the original Star Wars movie for all of us.

I traversed the wonderful road of motherhood, but Jerry and Wendie were DINKS (dual income, no kids). From New Jersey, they moved to Ohio and finally to their stunning home in Norcross, Georgia. We were never crazy close but always kept in touch. It wasn’t until the Christmas of 1993 that I finally saw him and Wendie through emotionally opened eyes as I navigated through the last months of my own personal hell.

One day, in the mid 1990s, my mom and I were just talking like we often did, about everything and nothing. I ventured a question: “I know Wendie didn’t really want children, but do you think Jerry would have had kids if he had married someone who did?”

Immediately I sensed that Mom hesitated and was carefully choosing her words. “I think Jerry would have made a great dad if he had married a woman who both really wanted children and had the patience to guide Jerry through fatherhood.”

Wow! Well, if that wasn’t a loaded answer. Mom was not going to get away with just dropping an inflammatory remark like that and expect me to not press her further.

“What do you mean, Mom?” I asked, my tone very serious. “There’s something you’re not telling me. I can feel it.”

It was the perfect opportunity to really talk. It was just Mom and me, with no expectations of husbands or kids suddenly interrupting us. She began, and I listened. “Sometime back, when Jerry was in junior high, I got a call from the police that he had been caught shoplifting some things from a local store.” The shocked look on my face was obvious, but I said nothing. “Yes, I was shocked too, in a way. Jerry hadn’t been doing that well in school. He did okay but not what he was capable of, and I knew it. Immediately I drove over to the store. The police officer showed me that Jerry had attempted to steal girlie magazines.”

Inside I felt a tremendous sense of relief that he hadn’t stolen a gun. I actually thought it was hilarious that it was just harmless girlie magazines. Discreetly, I slid my hand over my face to conceal any hint of laughter.

“I don’t know why,” Mom continued, “but the policeman suggested counseling. Something gnawed at him, having talked to Jerry for a while before I arrived. On the drive home, Jerry denied actually wanting the magazines, but I couldn’t get him to tell me anything more. When I told Wayne about it, your dad was humiliated and initially refused to go to counseling,

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